Travel Plans Changed Again (Am I Indecisive or just Human?)

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Travel Plans Changed Again (Am I Indecisive or just Human?)

Y’all probably aren’t going to believe this (or, if you know me, you may), but my major travel plans that start in less than 2 months now have changed again.  I’m not bringing a third option to the table though – I’m going back to the original plan.

For over a year now, I have been planning, saving, and working my ass off to head to Southeast Asia for 6-9 months starting this November.  As most of you know, this past March, I met Kaleb.  We fell in love and at first thought he would go with me, but then certain things fell through.  The person we were going to entrust his dog (now our dog) to wasn’t panning out to be the responsible person we thought and we became very nervous about the idea of leaving him behind.  The only other option was find him a new home which we didn’t want to do.  Kaleb also had an amazing business opportunity fall into his lap.  It was something he probably could do remotely from Asia, but he wouldn’t be able to truly give it the chance he wanted.

So, at that point, I went to him and said why don’t we do a US & Canada road trip for the same length of time.  This way we can keep the dog, you can be closer in case an emergency comes up with the business and so on.  That’s when I announced that Asia had gotten put on hold and this was the plan for the last month or so.

Only problem is, I couldn’t shake Asia from my mind.  

This trip, while it might seem silly to some, was something I needed to do.  For the past decade, I’ve followed other people all over the place, helping them with their dreams or careers, and slowly losing myself more and more.  If I did this again (even though I love Kaleb and want to see him succeed), I would be ignoring my dreams and what I’m passionate about yet again.

I went to Kaleb and was honest with him – telling him that I needed to go to Asia and if I didn’t, I know I would grow to resent the decision not to and I would lose myself again.  We both assumed this was it for us though and were starting to accept the idea that we wouldn’t be together – that our lives were taking two very separate paths.

Since we were both assuming the other person wouldn’t be okay with a long distance relationship while I was gone, neither of us even brought up that option at first.  I finally did as a last minute, grasping-at-straws idea.  My proposal being that I go ahead and go to Asia as originally planned, he will stay and move to Michigan to start the business with his brother, and we get to keep the dog.

As soon as I said this, we both just kinda of looked at each other and you could see the weight being lifted off our shoulders.  We’re both 28, not 18.  We know how to do deal with loneliness and being away from our partner.  It’ll suck, but we both have things we need to do and this is the way to do it without losing one another.

And, since February is his birthday and will most likely be the slowest month for this business, we are planning on him coming to visit for a couple weeks!

So, long story short…I’m still going to Asia in November!

Luckily, I had done so much planning in the beginning and won’t be doing a ton last minute and never canceled my plane ticket, but here’s to less than two months to finish planning, buying things, packing and preparing for what I originally intended to do…a solo trip to Southeast Asia.

Have you ever changed your travel plans, only to change them again?  What do you think…am I flaky or is this normal?

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Traveler. Freelance Writer. Blogger. Vegan. Risk Taker. Voice for the Voiceless.

25 Comments

  1. Sabina

    September 7, 2014 at 6:19 PM

    Good for you, going back to the original plan! It’s clearly something you should do since you’re so passionate about it 🙂 A good healthy relationship can only grow stronger through this! Best of luck to you & your partner 🙂

  2. Lisa

    September 7, 2014 at 10:36 PM

    Good for you. I would worry about resentment too if I were in your shoes. And with skype and everything, it could go really well!

  3. Mary Hill

    September 7, 2014 at 10:44 PM

    Congrats on your upcoming trip to Asia. I am glad it worked out for you to go. Remember the saying that distance can help a heart grow fonder. You will come back renewed and the two of you will be even more in love. Your lucky too because of technology you can stay in touch virtually every single day. I love skype.

  4. Michele {Malaysian Meanders}

    September 7, 2014 at 11:48 PM

    I’m looking forward to hearing about your trip. I think you are very wise to figure out what you needed and identify the possibility that in the long run, you’d regret passing up this trip. It’s interesting that I had the opposite problem. My hubby wanted to move to Malaysia to work, and I was the one who wanted to stay behind. I was really reluctant to move, but as this was to be at least 2 years and we have 3 kids, no way was I going to be a single mom for that long. I was really worried that I’d hate it there and end up resenting him for “forcing” me to move, yet I didn’t want to be the one who made him give up the most exciting offer that had come his way in a long time. Long story short… moving overseas was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me. Everything will work out as it should in the end. BTW, hubby and I did the long distance thing for 2 years before we married managed to survive it.

  5. Madaline

    September 7, 2014 at 11:49 PM

    I 100% think you did the right thing! Living abroad (and, omg ASIA!) is a once in a lifetime kind of thing – after kids and all that you probably won’t have the opportunity (or it’ll be more difficult). Have so much fun in Asia and I can’t wait to read more about it!

  6. Alli

    September 8, 2014 at 6:00 AM

    Good for you and good thing you didn’t cancel your plane ticket! I look forward to reading all about your trip!

  7. LaShawn

    September 8, 2014 at 6:15 AM

    Good for you for going on this once in a lifetime trip! It sounds so awesome! I think you and Kaleb are doing the right thing and you can make it work!!! I can’ wait to read about your travels!

  8. Candy Cook

    September 8, 2014 at 7:18 AM

    Hallelujah! I am so happy for you sticking to your dreams and doing what’s right for you – despite having another person to consider. I’m very glad that he was understanding and y’all were able to come to a real decision that doesn’t include you giving up what you’ve worked so hard for. Good for yall!! And have an awesome time in Asia!

  9. Skye

    September 8, 2014 at 10:21 AM

    It doesn’t sound flaky at all! It sounds like you tried a different plan in your mind thinking it would work, and it didn’t. Glad you were both able to accept that and find a way through it.

  10. Mandie @ RamblingMandie

    September 8, 2014 at 10:27 AM

    I’m proud of you, girl! As someone who just went 5 months without seeing her significant other, let me tell you that it CAN be done. Spending that time away from J was incredibly hard, but we both knew I had to go or I would never be at peace with myself. In the end, it made us stronger. Having someone back home who never wavered in his support for my dreams made me feel like I could conquer the world. I hope you get to feel that way too! 🙂

    • Ashley Hubbard

      September 8, 2014 at 10:33 AM

      Aww thanks Mandie! I actually thought of you specifically and your situation. I don’t know why we didn’t think of this solution sooner, but as soon as we did…we knew it was the right choice. None of the other choices felt right at all. I hope you’re enjoying being back home with J!

  11. Tiffany

    September 8, 2014 at 11:26 AM

    I can tell through your writing that this definitely is something you NEED to do. I am so happy for you and your new love for finding a way to make those tough decisions life sometimes throws at us. I can’t wait to see how your trip goes and all the adventures I am sure you will experience.

  12. Ben @ Road Affair

    September 8, 2014 at 2:10 PM

    Haha trust me it’s normal. If you check out our blog you will see that we too changed our plans so many times. We went from moving to LA to hitchhiking the USA to exploring Mexico… you just gotta do what you gotta do. In the end it is your happiness that counts. Good luck in Asia.

  13. Stephanie Mayo

    September 8, 2014 at 2:32 PM

    So happy to hear that you’re following your dream. And no, I don’t think its flaky, that’s life! Life happens, especially when we’re planning something for so far in advance, it’s easy to get caught up in it but I must say you seem to be rolling with the flow; open to new possibilities and adventures.

  14. Adelina // Pack Me To

    September 8, 2014 at 6:33 PM

    I’m so happy for you! Congrats on chasing after what you want. I know it can be difficult especially with a relationship in mind, but I think it is important to do what is good for you while making other parts of your life work within it. Yes, it’s not ideal, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I’m looking forward to following along in your Asia trip.

  15. Brenden

    September 9, 2014 at 12:51 AM

    Glad you got it sorted! You’ll have a great time in SE Asia 🙂

  16. Sammi Wanderlustin'

    September 9, 2014 at 4:24 AM

    Girl, I think you’re doing the right thing.

    True love lasts a life time y’know X

  17. Daidri | Thee Getaway Gal

    September 12, 2014 at 1:39 AM

    How exciting Ashley! Good for you that you thought everything through and listened to your heart. This deffinitely won’t be the first time you change your plans. Life is unpredictable, especially if you choose to have kids. I cancelled a trip to Bali last month because I missed my boys so much. Instead I spent a couple weeks with them around Utah and loved every minute of it. It will be a blast following your adventure!

  18. SJ @ Chasing the Donkey

    September 12, 2014 at 4:06 PM

    Totally human, and totally honest! Wishing you all the very best – and to Kaleb.

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  20. Manouk - Bunch of Backpackers

    September 14, 2014 at 9:52 AM

    Difficult decision, but you followed your heart Ashley :)!

  21. Marta Kulesza

    September 16, 2014 at 6:19 AM

    I think it is good that you went with your original plan. You would have been asking yourself otherwise what if! Who knows maybe you will hate it and decide to change your plan again. I Change my plans quite a lot too. Mostly due to budget issues or the weather decides to change them for me and keeps me stuck in one place for a bit longer then expected. Neither though are really big changes.
    Recently though I was going to fly to New Zealand from Germany and quite spontanously decided to squeeze in Thailand in between for 3 weeks, that way I can split the long journey in 2 and visit a place that I have been longing to visit for a while So here it is to changes! Let them always be good!:)

  22. Heather Cole

    October 7, 2014 at 4:37 AM

    Good for you Ashley, you’re going to have a fab time (even without Kaleb) and it will surely make the relationship even stronger! Hubbie and I had a long distance relationship for 3 years before we were able to be together properly, and whilst it was tough, I feel we’re both better for it! You go girl, look forward to following your journey 🙂 x

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